her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
