I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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