That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
