i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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