we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
