Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
