I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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