i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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