doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can Purell be used as lube?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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