He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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