Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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