your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
