I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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