she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize