Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
