You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
