There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
