i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
