that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Randomize
