belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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