dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
