Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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