Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
