doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
