Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
