There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
