I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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