you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
