This girl is more easily done than said...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
