So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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