Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize