what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize