What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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