so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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