me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
