She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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