Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
