Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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