Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
