She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
