Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
