then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
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