Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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