The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
