I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
