I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
