Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
