Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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