He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
