I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
