sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
