haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize