Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
