i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
