dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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