Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
