"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish you could order shots online.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
