I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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