I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize