He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
