You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
