We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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