the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
